Selfie Disorder

Brianna Cherry, 16, of Paintsville, Self Jersey has been suffering with a very contagious disorder called the selfie disorder. The picture on the left is just one of the many selfies that Brianna took because of her selfie disorder. "I don't know when this started," mother, Alison Cherry, told Stalker News. "I hope it has a cure. If it doesn't please create one!" Doctors say this disorder is spreading very quickly and if it doesn't stop, the whole country could be wiped out.  Many of Brianna's friends have also been affected with this selfie disorder.  One friend in particular was killed for posting her selfies that she took while under the influence of her disorder.  Her name was Lauren, until her schoolmates named her "Selfie maniac."  0.0000000001% of Selfie Maniac's photos are shown below.

 

Many of Brianna's other friends are suffering this disorder because they caught it from Brianna while "hanging out" with her.  Dr. Doctor, the Cherry family's family doctor has done more research and found out that "liking" these selfies also spreads the disease.  "Liking the photos inspires you to take selfies of yourself.  When you take many selfies of yourself, you have the disorder."  Dr. Doctor stated.  The people suffering from the selfie disorder may never be cured, but if want to save yourself from catching this disease, Stalker News recommends shielding your eyes, unfollowing/unfriending the people with the selfie disorder, and in all costs, eliminating them.  Is someone you know suffering from the selfie disorder? Take these steps to protect yourself!

1.      Shield your eyes at all time while scrolling through your feed on facebook, instagram ,tumblr, etc so that you don't like any of these pictures.

2.      Unfollow/Unfriend those suffering from the selfie disorder.

3.ELIMINATE THEM!!!

 

UPDATE

Stalker News just got a report that Brianna's first selfie was when she was just one year old (picture to the left) and her parents have been fighting this disorder for 15 years.  Also, Dr. Doctor says "the duck face is a very clear sign that indicates the selfie disorder."  Is your baby suffering from the selfie disorder?  Don't take any chances.  KILL them before you grew extremely attached to them, unlike Brianna Cherry's family.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Note: I wrote this story, but these pictures are not mine.  I had another section that said other people with this selfie disorder and it had a whole bunch of pictures, but I'm too lazy to add the pictures.  It's a long process. 

Note Note: This is just a story, unreal, so if you know a person named Brianna Cherry or Lauren or whatever, good for you.

Note Note Note: I got the first 2 pictures from this website: randomselectioninrandomimage.com and the last picture from: google.com/images.

Note Note Note Note: Don't really "eliminate people!"

Note Note Note Note Note: Okay, I'm done with notes now.  Bye!